starhead @ blog again

when i was in the typography-seminar, ...
all of us had to do a presentation on different topics,
concerning various types of fonts and it´s history in the sense of evolution.
partly it was very interesting, partly boring to listen to the people´s presentations.
it was boring due to the fact, that some people have not been really involved
and touched by the topic they have to perform.

anyway, ...
there was a guy, who had to perform a topic about a particular font
and he had , ....
a black-out.
totally.

when i was watching him, i could feel his powerlessness to overcome this situation.
and it lasted long. very long, till he said: sorry, i am gone.
after a while he said: o.k., i am here again.

i was really astonished about his courage, to handle such a deep and powerful impact in his
emotions so clear and conscious, and so candid.

i really could feel with him. for me as a listener, it was a strange feeling, when he had his black out.
on the one hand i did not want to help him. not to take away his situation to explore what´s going on, not to take away, the posibility to look behind his curtains, which were in front of his mind.
On the other hand, i really had the intention to ask this guy just a little question, which maybe would have helped him out of his powerlessness, just by asking him smthng.
just a little words, which would wake him up and dissolve his stress.

but i didn´t and in a way i felt ashame and accurate at the same time.

two days later this guy had to perform a short presentation in the English seminar which we share together.
the same situation happened to him again.
the environment of our seminar, where we learn how to present topics is safe and comfortable,
good for individual experiments, .... not to have fear smthng.
so it was really for him to "test" what´s going on with him.
and he went through this situation again.

"wow" i thought, this guy is really tough!
he is willing to deal with himself, ... "what a great guy he is", ...

he stands his person, like a man / woman."

anyway, to shorten the topic and my writings,

on the seminar next days, when the last one finished the presentation, he suddenly stood up
and said: i did not do my presentation. i will do it now. please pay attention.
He stood in front of us and he was speaking about his feelings and his emotions,
his beating heart, his perspiring hands, about his fears and his blockades, probably comming from an experience of his childhood.

in this moment i nearly wanted to yell out : yeahh! you ´r´ the man, u did it!

even if i did not know what he did, ...
but he did a great job, standing out there, and speaking about his emotions.

fnally i did not yell out, ...
i felt a great empathy with him, ...
i was glad for him, that he had the courage and the will to overcome his obstacles.
the courage to think and to speak about what he feels and what makes him problems.
an hour later, on the same day, in the next seminar, ... when i remember right it was psychology-stuff for media-design, . . .i sat beside him by coincidence and i gave him my congratulations for his performance.
he answered: thank you.
just simple: thank you.
that was it.

humans are beautiful.
especially these ones
who desire to walk a path
and dig in the unconsiousness for finding new wissdom.


that was the story and the learning what i got in this lesson.